A Quick Guide To Overcoming Criticism


Yes, we have all been there and had it… its called criticism!! If you haven’t faced any yet it’s possibly because you haven’t put your face out there where it can get slapped down!! I love the words of Zig Ziglar, “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember – the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” Let’s all face it, the truth is that when you play a bigger game, or step into your power and assignment– you’ll most likely make some people uncomfortable. Unfortunately, in the face of discomfort, most people don’t look within to find the source of it. They choose, instead, to lash out, criticise, or get cynical. All of us have been there either in one shoe or another. It can be from the small to the large. Maybe you just released your new Logo and you are excited and someone says something like ‘it looks like an upside down toilet’, and suddenly you are no longer dealing with excitement but an attitude of refusing to be offended. Maybe you tell someone a great business idea and they laugh and say ‘its already been done before, you wont be a success at that!’ The reason many of know how to deal with criticism effectively or how to deal with another’s celebration and success is because very few of us are taught Personal Responsibility from childhood. We are taught, instead, to blame other people for our results, our thoughts, and our emotions. We are taught to react. The true moment of freedom in anyone’s life is when we take Personal Responsibility for it. When we ask, “How can I learn from it, ignore it or turn this hurt around?” Let’s assume, however, that 90% of the world doesn’t practice this level of empowerment. That means that, most likely, someone will criticise you at some point in your life and no, I’m not talking about constructive advice. I mean the harsh stuff. The stuff that hurts – because that’s exactly what it’s designed to do! The question is that when the hard stuff happens then how do you handle it? Sadly many people don’t understand their personality and so therefore they speak out of the weakness of their personality. For example the DISC system, the D and the C type personality can be quite confronting and abrasive, and if they just believe they are speaking the truth, they can actually be very critical and hurtful but believe the lie they just are one of those who speak the truth and you can’t handle it. I have these people in my world and so I have had to develop strategies that stop me from being hurt. Here are some  and I hope they help you as they have me: 1 – Make a decision. Sometimes we have to decide,  “…to stop caring about what other people think of us.” If this is you, then it’s time to make a decision. Decide right now that you will no longer live your life contorting your soul in an attempt to prevent criticism or judgment. Start with that one decision. 2 – Some Will Some Won’t. Remember this: Some will. Some won’t. So what? I have spoken in meetings where I get emails from someone saying that was the worst message etc. and then another saying that message saved my life! Some will, some wont, SO WHAT!!! Apply it to your own gifts! 3 – Give yourself space to grieve. Criticism is designed to hurt. And it often does. If you need some time to cry, then give yourself that gift. Call a friend who will listen. Do yourself a favor, however, and set a limit. Maybe set the alarm clock for 55 minutes. Then, choose to move on. Otherwise, it’s easy to let it eat away at you indefinitely. 4 – Coach yourself. A great technique that heals the effects of criticism is to get out your journal and write it all down! Then write down the good points and what you learned in the process 5 – It’s not about you. Criticism is never about you. It’s always about the person doing the criticising. That might not help when you’re hurting. But it’s nice to be reminded! 6 – Protect yourself. Don’t seek out criticism. There are way too many places for victims and snarky people to congregate on the web and Facebook. Delete and BLOCK and maybe get someone to check your mail for you and filter it first! 7 – Decide again. In the face of criticism, the only option is to decide again. Decide to keep shining and living life fully engaged. Studies have shown that the most common regret among older people is of not having taken more risks. Don’t let this be you!

 “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you”

Keep Going

Amanda Wells




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