The Two Types of Leaders

I want to talk about two different kinds of leadership and we could say they are from 2 different sides. One being dysfunctional that brings a message that can end up so deceptive we become immune to it and not even be aware of how wrong, dysfunctional and even bad for us and after a while we stop recognising the danger and just accept it.

When you see what I am talking about you will recognise this leadership if you have been around for a while and often it has you saying ‘how did I ever get caught up in this!!! ‘

 I hope this article helps!

Attachment Leadership Dysfunction

Have you ever been lead by or maybe even mentored by someone who loves unhealthy attachment leadership? Not quite sure? Here’s a few clues. The words they often use are, 

“Don’t disconnect. If you disconnect you’ll get lost or lose your gift or anointing”

 “This is how we do things. You can’t do it differently. This is the only way. To succeed or be a part of us you must be like this.”

“Never forget who raised you up. Don’t forget who gave you a chance to succeed. If you deny us, we’ll deny you.”

 “ There is only one vision, mine and so you have to follow my vision and build it.”

The worst kind are statements that come from ‘so called prophetic words’. 

“ You are called to this place only and only here will you thrive’

Now to some these statements might be shocking, but to others, you can attest that this type of leadership has not only been running rampant since the 50’s in models such as direct sales and network marketing, it’s made it’s way into large corporations and even families. Bottom line? People feel trapped.

 Unhealthy attachment leadership just makes people feel trapped! Initially, it can make one feel more secure or ‘on track’ but eventually it squashes and destroys their freedom. Leadership that seeks to domineer and control, or as the Bible says, “rule by constraint”  I Peter 5:2 is always damaging.

 In the book of Genesis, God gave His first children a big command, “Take dominion!” Genesis 1:28. He was instructing them to have dominion over the animals, the earth, the place on the earth God gave. Let me show you what it means so you can see why attachment leadership is so destructive!

 The word dominion means in Hebrew-’to subdue or subjugate.’ It means to bring it under subjection, to tread under foot. Or in plain English, to force into bondage. Now before you work yourself up into a hot flush… keep reading, I think you’ll like this.

This command was given regarding the plants, the animals, the earth. It was NOT however given to either of God’s children, Adam or Eve, when dealing with each other. Everything that moves on the earth, sure. With each other? ABSOLUTELY NO WAY.

 Attachment leadership does the exact opposite. It is careless in how it deals with things of the earth, doesn’t cultivate, multiply, take care of, nourish the animals, the plants and the natural surroundings… it neglects that. Then it seeks to ‘bring into bondage, subdue and force into control’ it’s fellow man and woman. This just causes one big mess. You find this sort of leadership isolate, they seem to have relationships but if you look closely the relationships they develop are where they are really still ‘top dog.’

 I’ve seen this with leaders who can’t stand anyone to be outside their realm of control! You can smell it a mile away when someone begins to do well in any area of life.. they get nervous. The story is always the same and they lead with horrific manipulation.

 Be very careful when you hear words like, “OBEY me because I’m your leader” over and over again. If you hear it in business, beware this is dysfunctional. Ironically, God says that men and women are to submit to one another in marriage, in love and fellowship. He doesn’t give either one the role of subduing, controlling or constraining. So how did we get to this??

 It could be because people have such a sincere heart and desire to do so well and serve in business that they don’t even realise the FORCED bondage they are getting themselves into.

 Let me make this very clear to you. As a coach and a leader, I feel a moral obligation to do so. YOU are called to freedom. Be very careful who you are submitting yourself to.

 

If someone seeks to control another human being, that is going outside the realm of leadership that God Himself ever gave anyone permission to lead in. Animals, plants, etc…. NOT humans. If you have a leader in your life who threatens your individuality or says things like, “I forbid you to believe that (go there, do that)” you are in dangerous territory.

 

YOU are called to freedom, my friends. BE FREE.

 

When we look at the contrasting side of leadership, leading with strengths, we see how freedom will inevitably be the path. It is so freeing to lead people in freedom where we are free and help others to be free in the process!

 

The Right Kind Of Leadership

 

We were not designed to isolate, be alone on an Island or go solo. No one was ever created by a loving God to stand alone, we need each other. Therefore leadership that seeks to identify and create strength within the team is actually leadership that creates freedom.

 

When we come alongside and help someone to ‘sharpen their edge’ and to be more than they ever dreamed was possible, in all areas of life, we assist in creating more leaders, not co-dependent, attached at the hip, weak followers. 

 

It is my belief that our instincts, gifts, talents, skills and abilities were all uniquely designed and created to sing in harmony. Where we’ve gone off track is mass-media marketing that seeks to make us all the same and has a goal of causing conformity and uniformity rather than individual brilliance.

 

If we look at Psalm 133 God says ‘how GOOD and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell in unity’

 

The Hebrew meaning of Good is the same word God used when He saw the creation He designed and said ‘that is good.’ So its not just good, there is a certain creative experience when we come together but not by force but by unity. The word unity is not a soppy word where we hold hands and sing ‘let there be love shared among us,’ the word means ‘JOINT VENTURE.’ A joint venture is where is take all my skills, knowledge and gifts and put it on the table and you put all yours on the table and together we create something powerful. Attachment leadership is never a joint venture, it is always I will use of yours what I need to help me leverage my gifts and vision etc.

 

 

Attachment Leadership works by dominating the mindset. Using things like scripts, rote memorisation and set standards, one must conform or leave to succeed. The programming that exists which really thwarts any kind of individual thinking squashes potential, rather then elevating it.

 

If we turn our backs on our own innate drive we create a  society of chameleons, where we all blend in and no on stands out. 

 

The world was never changed by people who behave or work in this way. All major breakthroughs in our world have been originated by those who will hammer and push the borders and boundaries and break all walls and constraints. SO BE UNIQUE!! 

 

How to lead others with their strengths and yours:

 

Know who YOU are and what you possess- This is critical.

 

The more comfortable we are with who we are personally, the easier it is to lead others. Only those who are clueless as to their purpose and their design, or uncomfortable with it, seek to constrain and control others. (Because they can’t seem to do so personally).Don’t lead by telling others of their faults all this does is create an atmosphere where you are superior because you dismiss your own faults.

 

A leader who can clearly define and is passionately using their own gifts, talents and instincts will automatically raise up razor sharp, powerful leaders. It’s an interesting evolution! Like does breed like and the more we work on ourself, the more clearly defined we’ll be in working with others.

 

A leader must be flexible

 

Nothing is set in stone in a good company or with great leaders. It’s only the great who can’t adapt that become the great who fell. While scripts or standards might be useful in defining policy or examples, don’t require people to model or mould themselves after ‘canned’ practices.

 

In a home, when it is safe for children to make mistakes and grow, with nurturing, direction and courage, young children become well adjusted adults who become amazingly adaptive, powerful and purposed leaders. Be willing to change, adapt and improve as a parent or grandparent, your children will follow suite. The same thing holds true in business. 

 

Lead with strength and you’ll create strength. Lets be the change we desire and lets be the leadership that creates transformation and growth in every area of our lives. 

 

 

 

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